My letter to Sam Schaeffer

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Continuing with the theme of how to manifest positivity every time you need it..

I first read Sam’s story on Tuesday 18th September 2018, nearly 27 years after becoming ill myself. I think you could say his story resonated! In fact it was the first time I understood my fear of rejection and humiliation. AND I could see how they were related to my stored or repressed anger. The doctor’s called it M.E. it was also similar to Parkinson’s or loads of other illnesses with similar symptoms.. labelling things is such a control thing isn’t it?

But thanks to Sam I was able to see how Social Anxiety when it’s allowed to escalate can become almost any illness in the medical dictionary.

So on Wednesday I relived a childhood memory around my relationship with my father. This was a real EUREKA moment aaahhhh I have a lot to be grateful for to a lot of people but thank you Sam for putting it all into context. You too can read the whole of Sam’s story here..

(Although I don’t think folk are lazy I think they lack courage and are afraid of feeling their fear of anxiety.)

So believing in yourself and having self esteem are essential but grieving is even more important and leads us to release that stored away anger from our bodies, minds or souls that you were taught was wrong to express… even when you were being attacked at school or on the street either emotionally or physically…

It’s important to realise that anger cleanses and protects us and it can cleanse your relationships when they get stagnant through familiarity, it’s a great tool but we’re taught at an early age that it’s wrong so none or very few of us have good practise in using it as a tool to help us. (Society are afraid of conflict but condone war – what a contradiction!) This is why so many of us go to football matches as it’s one place where it’s acceptable to vent our spleens!!

Men don’t cry that’s unfortunate social grooming too but they can ground energy and cleanse their anger away into the earth and so can women during meditation using breathing techniques.

Knowing and accepting your flaws helps you accept other people’s flaws too. My Mum and Dad where far from perfect they had flaws when it came to explain social etiquette to a child of 3 years!


After feeling and releasing anger, sadness or fear it’s important to manifest something uplifting straightaway. I sing, talk, write, play piano or alchemy singing bowls that are a sublime way to lift repression and help us flawed humans to feel again.

I use to need to talk and be heard so much I produced and presented a radio show. It gave me this huge high but it didn’t solve my repressed anger issues. The only way I have managed that is like Sam change my perspective of what might or might not happen and instead of wiring my brain to overload thinking of all the possible scenario’s – I don’t. I stop asking why and what if and accept and trust all that life gives me and I’m grateful for just having that life.

We can build self esteem and self belief together by doing what we’ve always wanted to do but have allowed social etiquette or constraints or judgement to stop us. Let’s be brave by seeing our anger as power and holding that power in our hand and using it for the good of ourselves and our planet.. don’t waste it by giving it away…but invest it in healing ourselves feel that power (it’s also energy, money..) in your hand and retain and don’t give it away willy nilly. Visualise it in your hand every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to sleep and ask yourself how am I going to use my power to help today.


Blowing away other peoples stress

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Stress can cause us all sorts of issues both physically and psychologically. Sometimes it isn’t even our stress! If when we go out and meet others and they start telling us about their stressful experiences we have to not let that stress into our system. We must not absorb other peoples stress.

Easier said than done i hear you say, especially if the stress belongs to your husband, wife, partner, child or friend. Letting other peoples stress into your heart only causes more stress and this stress is then passed on from one person to another like a virus or the flu. Feeling someone else’s stress isn’t going to help you to help them. Continued>>



How do we protect ourselves from other peoples stress? We can detach ourselves emotionally from other peoples stuff and deflect it even though they’re your friend or family. This can take some practise. I cover my tummy and close my eyes. Children’s stress is particularly easy to absorb. Especially if they need hugs owing to a particularly stressful experience they’re going through. But not owning it but helping them and supporting them through it without it affecting you is challenging.

Sometimes we don’t manage to deflect it, letting other peoples stress in to our body, mind, soul, spirit and this can have an adverse effect on our health. BUT when we do take it on board we can get rid of it straight away by using deep breathing and visualisation techniques, like for example visualising,.. if you imagine you can see the person in your mind that has ‘given’ or projected the stress on to you and you have absorbed this stress like a ‘virus’ can simply blow it away with your out breathe. So using a very large gulp of air ..breathe in expanding your lungs wide.. and then blow out this stress with the OUT breath. Focus hard though with your mind, where in your mind or body has this other persons stress landed?

Lets do this for a few minutes.. Sit with your eyes closed and focus on every bit of stress in your body and/or mind and when you see it.. blow it away. You can teach your children, friend, partner, spouse to do the same thing.

We might need to spend regular moments through the day focusing on doing just this when we work in a busy environment.  We might be constantly blowing out through our mouths for some time while experiences are relived.  Then you can then ask the wind, the rain or the snow, your angel or your spirit guide, whatever you can connect best with to take that negative stress away into the sky!

Bach Flower Remedies are very useful for alleviating this habit of absorbing others stress, that can sometimes make us angry, sad or frightened. Getting rid of the stress is good but changing the way we take it on board in the first place and countering it in the future is also important thing to do. You could try Red Chestnut, Walnut or Vervain Bach flower Remedies to help you change your behaviour but don’t use them instead of seeking medical advice if you are ill.

A Gemstone that i use to help shield me from negative influences in this world is Labradorite.



It’s an amazing transforming stone one to keep in your top pocket or your bra!

What other ways are there? Please leave a comment..