Loving Screaming kids!

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Today I’m talking about screaming kids or rather about how to love screaming kids because they’re the kids crying out for help.

Do you hug a screaming child? Some parents believe this just leads to more screaming, tantrums and general bad behaviour from their perspective. So parents have taken up the “I’m going to ignore you till you stop method of parenting.” This ploy may well work for you the parent in a way it gives you freedom and a type of peace but in the long term its likely you will pay dearly for this method of parenting.

Lets look in to this belief that screaming gets worse the more you hug a child. Yes its likely that it will do to start with. The child has resorted to these screaming/crying tactics because s/he needs attention, and more importantly love. Do you know how to give your child love and the amount of attention s/he needs to become a satisfied and happy human being? The main answer to this question is that it varies from child to child. Some boys get up and run off treading down hard on their screams or cries incase Mummy infers weakness, or worse still Daddy does. Some girls scream and cry out forever. Either of these versions are stereotypical extremes, there are many millions of versions in between. There is only one solution to them all and that is making your child feel loved.

This can be a challenge to those parents who never felt the love of their own parents and they have to work a lot harder with their own children or they have even more love and time to give their children.

But let kids be kids, babies be babies..allow them to be…babies and children, all both cry when they need love or attention or both and just because as a parent you can’t see why they need so much love and attention doesn’t mean the child doesn’t need it emotionally or spiritually. Giving love and attention to your child without censorship is key to good parenting. Go with the flow..don’t withhold your love just because you think its going to get worse for YOU. KEEP GOING WITH THE LOVE don’t every stop hugging your child day and night.

Gradually your baby, child, teenager will feel safe and they will stop crying or screaming and they will be able to learn how to deal with trauma (inner and outer) effectively on their own.

aqua aura crystal singing bowl
Aqua Aura Crystal Singing Bowl – unconditional love

They will feel that you are there for them even when you aren’t physically there for them. Don’t try to wean them too quickly because its likely they will just run away completely. If they perceive that you’re pushing them away they will push you away. Don’t fall into the trap of becoming the victim once you’ve been rejected, I mean weaned your child too quickly. Love flows right through yours and their lives it doesn’t stop.

Next time you hear your child crying or screaming, jump to it. Spend time with them because they’re in deficit if they didn’t deal with whatever trauma occurred to them effectively. Their love bank is low, fill it up and keep it filled.

Managing Love

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How do you manage your love? Do you need to manage love or does it just flow into you and from you to everyone you meet? Heart always open and feeling..well love and all the other wonderful things that go with the feeling of love.

This leads me to the question do you ever get angry with someone, anyone?It’s pure wild instinct isn’t it this love/anger thing. If someone starts to irritate and you and you feel your anger bubbling up inside what do you do? Do you project it at the nearest dog, person or tree because it’s a natural response then thats ok or is it?

Well no it isn’t ok to ever project your anger at anyone. Except if that person is trying to kill or rape you or is attacking you with bullying tactics. Then it’s ok to get angry and protect yourself. Fight back and defend yourself from another person. If anger is allowed to escalate regularly then behaviour becomes more regularly questionable and affects theirs and your energy levels. Anger causes soul pain and hurt in both the recipient of the anger and the person who is feeling angry. It’s vibration resonates in to the heart and soul of the earth and the universe around the earth. Fighting back causes even more pain and hurt..at this point its easier and healthier to walk away and stay away. Protect yourself and the planet from pain, hurt and destruction with your aura and love.

Things you can do…

Check your feelings when you’re around this person, it’s never ok for them to project their anger on to you. Be prepared for those to get angry with you though if YOUR behaviour is aggressive. Try explaining to them in a assertive way that anger is never ok. It’s their anger issues that they need to manage not yours or you. Definitely never take it personally when someone gets angry with you unless of course you’re getting angry with them first. You can see quite easily how wars break out can’t you if one person responds negatively to another persons anger..

The more authentic you are to yourself the more you understand what anger is and what it does to you and others. If you suffer from surges of anger its often because you’ve allowed others to exploit your good will. You haven’t found the courage to say no to them. NO is a very important word in the English Dictionary and all the other language dictionaries too ! My husband describes it well when he says “you built a rod for your back” ie you’ve created a situation where you always feel needed/important.

If your anger or frustration at a situation builds up over a period of time it can soon become explosive.. and end up being projected over something really small. If you find yourself being impatient with others then calming yourself down is essential. This is where meditation comes in..teaching yourself to calm down in a quiet place.

Freedom Lotus brings you Compassion and Mercy – Quan Yin copyright reserved 2019

This is the Freedom Lotus it connects you to Quan Yin’s Compassion and Mercy. This is a great tool if you get angry with yourself too, but we will talk about that in another blog.

If you print the picture of the Freedom Lotus, stare at it, hold it to your heart when you feel the anger or rage rising inside you it assists you to calm down and brings feelings of compassion and mercy for yourself and others in any situation. THIS PICTURE WILL CALM YOU DOWN ! Don’t believe me? Give a try next time you feel frustrated and anger starting to rise up inside. The key is to recognise the signs in yourself as well as others. Of course and if you feel compassion and mercy for others as they get angry then you won’t strike back…not unless your life depends on it.

Future blog…please subscribe

So learning to value yourself is like learning to love yourself..by saying no. It stops others from exploiting your gifts and allows you to feel free, happy, loved and valued inside. It brings a good sense of self esteem. It takes courage and truth… where do you get yours? That’s the next blog! Please comment and let me know what you think, do you ever get angry? Please share this blog ..thanks for reading, have a super day.

My letter to Sam Schaeffer

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Continuing with the theme of how to manifest positivity every time you need it..

I first read Sam’s story on Tuesday 18th September 2018, nearly 27 years after becoming ill myself. I think you could say his story resonated! In fact it was the first time I understood my fear of rejection and humiliation. AND I could see how they were related to my stored or repressed anger. The doctor’s called it M.E. it was also similar to Parkinson’s or loads of other illnesses with similar symptoms.. labelling things is such a control thing isn’t it?

But thanks to Sam I was able to see how Social Anxiety when it’s allowed to escalate can become almost any illness in the medical dictionary.

So on Wednesday I relived a childhood memory around my relationship with my father. This was a real EUREKA moment aaahhhh I have a lot to be grateful for to a lot of people but thank you Sam for putting it all into context. You too can read the whole of Sam’s story here..

https://iovercameanxiety.com/how-i-overcame-social-anxiety-lto-w-e

(Although I don’t think folk are lazy I think they lack courage and are afraid of feeling their fear of anxiety.)

So believing in yourself and having self esteem are essential but grieving is even more important and leads us to release that stored away anger from our bodies, minds or souls that you were taught was wrong to express… even when you were being attacked at school or on the street either emotionally or physically…

It’s important to realise that anger cleanses and protects us and it can cleanse your relationships when they get stagnant through familiarity, it’s a great tool but we’re taught at an early age that it’s wrong so none or very few of us have good practise in using it as a tool to help us. (Society are afraid of conflict but condone war – what a contradiction!) This is why so many of us go to football matches as it’s one place where it’s acceptable to vent our spleens!!

Men don’t cry that’s unfortunate social grooming too but they can ground energy and cleanse their anger away into the earth and so can women during meditation using breathing techniques.

Knowing and accepting your flaws helps you accept other people’s flaws too. My Mum and Dad where far from perfect they had flaws when it came to explain social etiquette to a child of 3 years!

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After feeling and releasing anger, sadness or fear it’s important to manifest something uplifting straightaway. I sing, talk, write, play piano or alchemy singing bowls that are a sublime way to lift repression and help us flawed humans to feel again.

I use to need to talk and be heard so much I produced and presented a radio show. It gave me this huge high but it didn’t solve my repressed anger issues. The only way I have managed that is like Sam change my perspective of what might or might not happen and instead of wiring my brain to overload thinking of all the possible scenario’s – I don’t. I stop asking why and what if and accept and trust all that life gives me and I’m grateful for just having that life.

We can build self esteem and self belief together by doing what we’ve always wanted to do but have allowed social etiquette or constraints or judgement to stop us. Let’s be brave by seeing our anger as power and holding that power in our hand and using it for the good of ourselves and our planet.. don’t waste it by giving it away…but invest it in healing ourselves feel that power (it’s also energy, money..) in your hand and retain and don’t give it away willy nilly. Visualise it in your hand every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to sleep and ask yourself how am I going to use my power to help today.

wendy@amberhummingbird.com

 

Manifesting abundance to transmute fear

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Abundance? What does that mean exactly?

Plenty..plenty of…? Growth, prosperity, love, friends..you name it it can be yours if you focus your mind on it for long enough! Think about it day and night, dream about it.

So what is your it? What would you like abundance of? Flowers, birds, art, education, money, cars…what does the planet need…peace, happiness, laughter, joy, nature.

IMG_3662We’re having an abundance of growth this year thanks to the hot summer and now the rain. This is a rhododendron in flower during August! We have also had an abundance of these…

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Dry lines on a football pitch and fields too. I wonder why the cracks come particularly deep and wide where the lines have been drawn.

What have you had in abundance this Summer?

If you don’t know what you want in abundance how do you find out. Well I meditate and I ask my heart what i love the most heres my list of things to think about which will manifest an abundance:-

Music – I’m learning to play the piano, I practise everyday for at least 10 minutes, it makes me smile.

Singing – I listen to and sing lyrics of my favourite music all day everyday.

Percussion instruments – when i was in infants school the only thing i remember enjoying was playing the Triangle and the tambourine. My parents bought me a child’s toy record player when i was 4 years old..my best present..except for my red bike. This Summer I’ve focused on buying percussion instruments, listening to them all day everyday. Now i have an abundance of them and music around me.

I would like a new car, I’m manifesting a Triumph Stag and a Mustang!!

To connect with these things sometimes we need to draw, write about, talk about or visualise  them, whatever comes easy for you…thinking alone might not be enough.Its all about thinking, doing, believing.

Why will this help me transmute fear I hear you say..well if we think, focus and do things that make us feel love then that will transmute any fear we might have stored away somewhere in our minds, body or soul.

Key to happy life is manifesting by focusing on those things that you know make you happy even if they frighten you in some way. I’d love to hear about them.

What have you had an abundance of this Summer?

 

 

BE BRAVE

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Why is manifesting courage so important?

Here I’ve made a couple of list, the first list is things I’m afraid of, we can fear anything we choose to fear, the second is a list of the opposite things. Things we can manifest to balance out the things we fear most. You could print out or copy this list or better still make your own list..BE BRAVE! Then number your top ten fears then look at what will offset them in the second list.

Hate                                          Love

Rigidness                                 Grace

Anger                                       Content

Death                                        Life

Bad                                           Good

Lack                                         Abundance

Persecution                             Peace

Sadness                                    Happiness

Fear                                           Courage

Pain                                           Pleasure

Revenge                                    Forgiveness

Jealousy                                    Admiration

Rejection                                  Acceptance

Conflict                                     Agreement

Negative                                   Positive

Evil                                            Virtuous

Without feeling the one of the left we can’t feel the opposite one on the right. A balance between these things can be struck by manifesting the opposite or we can live in extremes and bob from one to the other, which in my experience causes illness. Striking a balance is our aim.

Ways of Manifesting

Draw, write about or visualise that thing or an object that you associate with that thing. If you’re struggling to reach an agreement for example and you are in conflict then you could draw a handshake or write about someone shaking hands or visualise yourself shaking hands with the person you’re in conflict with. What works for you?

Its important to recognise that we cannot control any of these things. What happens if we try? Well we repress them into ourselves, into our soul, into our mind into our body. So for example repressing hate creates pain, then we repress love because without feeling hate we can’t feel love either. This is a law of nature.. If i know that I’m most afraid of persecution for instance I may need to draw that, an icon that represents persecution and then draw an object that I associate with peace to balance it. The second part is obviously an essential part of the process.

If we repress love and happiness, which some of us do, because these feelings sometimes  make us feel afraid and vulnerable, we sometimes turn our life into the first list because we feel most comfortable the we’re in pain. So be brave and choose love. Love burns off fear and all negative things because it boosts our energy level or aura if you prefer. The brighter our aura shines the more negativity we burn off.

The key is to allow ..have the courage to allow everything…whatever your mind chooses to label good or bad, it doesn’t matter just allow yourself to feel all things. These things are LIFE we cannot control life. Yes we can plan and we can change the way we respond to life but life it self just happens.

 

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The key is finding out what helps us raise our vibration naturally this helps us control our ego, one thing in life we can control, and being brave enough to pursue it. Good luck.

Feather on my seat

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I just couldn’t think of anything to blog about today..so i returned to my seat in the garden…

IMG_3613However did that get there? A pigeon feather..I collect feathers even pigeon feathers.

What sign do you think this is giving me? My mutterings today continue to say stay focused on exercise for my poor ailing body and singing with my crystal bowls, perhaps its just the pigeon showing its appreciation?

What do you think?