Today I’m talking about screaming kids or rather about how to love screaming kids because they’re the kids crying out for help.
Do you hug a screaming child? Some parents believe this just leads to more screaming, tantrums and general bad behaviour from their perspective. So parents have taken up the “I’m going to ignore you till you stop method of parenting.” This ploy may well work for you the parent in a way it gives you freedom and a type of peace but in the long term its likely you will pay dearly for this method of parenting.
Lets look in to this belief that screaming gets worse the more you hug a child. Yes its likely that it will do to start with. The child has resorted to these screaming/crying tactics because s/he needs attention, and more importantly love. Do you know how to give your child love and the amount of attention s/he needs to become a satisfied and happy human being? The main answer to this question is that it varies from child to child. Some boys get up and run off treading down hard on their screams or cries incase Mummy infers weakness, or worse still Daddy does. Some girls scream and cry out forever. Either of these versions are stereotypical extremes, there are many millions of versions in between. There is only one solution to them all and that is making your child feel loved.
This can be a challenge to those parents who never felt the love of their own parents and they have to work a lot harder with their own children or they have even more love and time to give their children.
But let kids be kids, babies be babies..allow them to be…babies and children, all both cry when they need love or attention or both and just because as a parent you can’t see why they need so much love and attention doesn’t mean the child doesn’t need it emotionally or spiritually. Giving love and attention to your child without censorship is key to good parenting. Go with the flow..don’t withhold your love just because you think its going to get worse for YOU. KEEP GOING WITH THE LOVE don’t every stop hugging your child day and night.
Gradually your baby, child, teenager will feel safe and they will stop crying or screaming and they will be able to learn how to deal with trauma (inner and outer) effectively on their own.
They will feel that you are there for them even when you aren’t physically there for them. Don’t try to wean them too quickly because its likely they will just run away completely. If they perceive that you’re pushing them away they will push you away. Don’t fall into the trap of becoming the victim once you’ve been rejected, I mean weaned your child too quickly. Love flows right through yours and their lives it doesn’t stop.
Next time you hear your child crying or screaming, jump to it. Spend time with them because they’re in deficit if they didn’t deal with whatever trauma occurred to them effectively. Their love bank is low, fill it up and keep it filled.